


Ambush my heart

by royallyscrewed



Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bros to lovers, Confessions, First Kiss, Flirting, Gay Panic, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Pining, Ryuji Says Fuck, Spoilers, just a nice bit o fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royallyscrewed/pseuds/royallyscrewed
Summary: After months of pining after Ryuji, Akira finds himself in the perfect situation to finally confess when Ryuji happens to be locked out of his apartment for the night and he offers him a place to crash.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Morgana & Persona 5 Protagonist, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 133





	1. Reminiscence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira's got a lot on his mind, being helplessly in love his best friend and all and fate keeps throwing them together.

The Phantom Thieves had done it again, stolen another heart and were chilling at LeBlanc having a mini celebration-catchup for their efforts. Akira was dishing out free cups of Sojiro's coffee collection and had raided the fridge to scoop together enough ingredients to make a very substantial pot of curry for everyone to tuck into. Surprisingly, Sojiro had agreed after much begging but warned him not to use it all or he would have to buy all new ingredients out of his own pocket, which was a fair deal.

Haru was a fine addition to their group and she added a certain decorum to the ensemble, correcting Ryuji on how to drink the beverage correctly to give him a bit more class to his character. "If I may ask, do we simply wait now?" Polite as ever, she piped up to propose a question. It was still weird to think that in the metaverse she wielded an axe half her size and slashed into the shadows with ease, obliterating them. 

"Yes, we followed all the steps, just keep a lookout but we can just relax until then." Morgana answered, popping up on the table side stool he was perching on, beaming at the group with those potent blue eyes, "I've still got a lot to teach you all to get you up to scratch, you're still all amateurs... so we need to keep this group together- so I can train you all!" 

The group exchanged knowing looks and nodded collectively, passing a few laughs between them. 

"How'd 'bout a toast leader?!" Ryuji butted in, slinging his arm around Akira's shoulders, pulling him in, but not too close, just enough so the tips of their ears touched for a brief moment and their chests awkwardly clashed together side on. Akira had gotten used to the physical contact Ryuji gave him and had always just gone along with it, but recently, his motives were a little different. Ryuji’s shoulder pats, momentary chest bumps, high fives and occasional hugs had been hitting different. 

He like, _liked_ him... no, he was head over heels in love with him. The stupid type of love, the type that wasn't logical, making his heart flutter whenever he got a text, making him want to drop everything and run on a train in the early hours of the morning just to see _that_ face poking through a window. He was thinking about the blonde 24/7, all round the clock- he couldn't sleep without giving into a fantasy. These daydreams didn't stay at home either, no, they followed him into school and into **every** class when he zoned out, getting rudely awoken and snapping out of it by a ruler or other piece of stationery being lobbed at his head. 

Only in dreams could he fantasize about the impossible. About an alternate reality where Ryuji, the man who was _always_ talking about getting a girlfriend, would look twice at him.

Nothing could change the fact that Ryuji was straight. Even if he confessed to get closure and get the feelings flushed out of his system, he'd get shot down and ruin their friendship which was another thing he didn't want. Rejection was definite. He was just being realistic, he couldn't turn a straight man gay, that's just not how people worked. 

Out of all the people who would be straight, Ryuji had to be one of them. He was constantly staring at Ann and her boobs and gossiping about which girls were single in his classes and how if he told them he was a Phantom Thief, _not like they'd believe him_ , how he'd get loads of dates and would be swimming in girls. That was a very straight warning flag.

So many times Akira had wanted to ask, but he always couldn't find the right words or the right setting. Cafes were too formal, restaurants were too romantic and public, in his attic room sounded suggestive as hell... But he did want to know, he was using his Phantom Thief detective skills to note down every possibly gay thing Ryuji did. He knew it was stupid but doing nothing was just killing him.

Staying away would've been a wise decision, letting his feelings slowly fade away over time would've been the perfect plan! Haha... he didn't do that.

When Ryuji slung his arm around him this time, he indulged himself, sinking into the safety net of the crook of Ryuji’s shoulder ever so slightly, just enough so Ryuji wouldn't notice. The blonde would forever be oblivious to his pathetic advancements... but the rest of the group, he wasn’t sure. Futaba might pick up on it, or Ann, but Morgana was the biggest threat of being a blabbermouth and with the added risk of Morgana always being around, poking his intrusive fuzzy head into every section of his life, he couldn't do anything too obvious.

"Sorry, you want me to do a toast?" He queried, lifting his head swiftly back up, remembering what Ryuji'd said before he zoned out, dreaming again.

"Yeah, comeon dude! Your speeches are the best."

“A toast to the Phantom Thieves, teamwork really does make the dreamwork.” He cleared his throat, holding up one of his signature editions of Sojiro’s cups just above eye-level, “And to the best group of friends, comrades and-“ Subtly, body maintaining the same position he allowed his eyes, only for a millisecond, to catch a glimpse of Ryuji’s face, still and determined. He noticed everything, how his hazelnut eyes had a certain irreplaceable twinkle, the cute dimples that appeared whenever he smiled, how his hair was subtly gelled up, how the roots were growing out again, noticeably black. And... how he was looking back at him.

How his eyes were soft and sexy and...

He forced himself to look away.

That look wasn't innocent, he knew that much... but what was it? Did it have some ulterior motive, was it intentionally one of the _most_ seductive looks he'd ever gotten?! He must be seeing things, making a big thing of something that was actually nothing, reading too much into it. But what if Ryuji, he dared himself to think, was well aware of what he was doing. “-Partners I could ever have wished for. Cheers.” _Partners._

They chatted so casually, like as if they were normal teenagers not burdened with the task of reforming all of Japanese society. For one night, they were an ordinary, diverse group of high schoolers, telling jokes and ghost stories, embarrassing anecdotes from their pasts. Ann reminisced about her middle school days, where she was a fresh-faced foreigner in Japan, starting a new school all alone and standing on her own two feet in a seemingly impenetrable city. She spoke so seriously about it and the group listened in and no one made jokes. “So I knew like, nobody and my parents were off on another opportunity doing some filming over in Sweden. School was a challenge. When you look like someone who doesn't belong, people don’t really want to get all friendly and cosy with you so I didn't have many friends, or any really. This is before Shiho fyi. Anyway, so, on the third week in, this guy with jet-black gelled hair comes up to my desk and just starts chatting as if we've been friends for years. He's really obnoxious but nice and kind, y'know? So I tell him how I’m feeling all down and the next day he disappears off the face of the earth. I don’t see him for like, a few weeks- then BAM, in he comes, hair so neon yellow it's practically glowing- everyone’s looking, the teacher’s speechless, and he waltzes all cool to my desk, hands in his pockets with a swagger and says, ‘People ain’t looking at you no more don’t worry ‘bout it’... _thennnnnn_ he gets suspended for 2 weeks.” With a flick of her index finger, she pointed towards Ryuji with a smirk. “Sometimes he can be really nice... when he’s not being a dick.”

"Wait that was you, Ryuji?" Haru questioned, nearly spitting out her coffee when she realised.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck that was a long time ago... a-and I ain’t that bad! Right, Akira?”

He had to restrain himself from giving into the large brown puppy dog eyes, giving him a condescending pat on the shoulder and smoothly unwinding his body from Ryuji's arm that for some reason refused to budge, “I _meannn_ , your hair is very bright... and you are really loud. Ann's not too far off.” He gave a little ruffle of the blonde's hair.

"For real...?!" He faked offence and leaned over to steal Akira's glasses in revenge for messing up his hair, only for him to dodge it with expert proficiency. 

”Ryuji’s origin story at last! Anime protagonist hair- totally saw it coming.” Futaba chirped in, adjusting her glasses up her nose and looking down condescendingly, “Not high enough level to beat any bosses yet. You gotta train more and get rid of that NPC energy.” 

The group laughed at that but hardly anyone knew what she was really on about, they weren't true gamers like Futaba was, they didn't have the skills or the lingo to propose a battle of gaming lexis. Futaba would throw out an easy HP question to help lure them in and then immediately kill them by talking about loot boxes or the Konami code, finding it hilarious as they squirmed trying to guess what she meant.

"So this is Ryuji's true nature, beneath the spikes may there be an inkling of sincerity and compassion... Ah, this is it! You have inspired my next piece." He swooped up a stray napkin off the counter and started sketching onto it frantically with the pen he always carried around, ushering Ryuji over and framing his face with his two hands, "Pose as if the meaning of hidden beauty has come to you, the fiery compassion that burns within your soul."

Just as Akira was about to swoop in to intervene and stop Ryuji from being hauled off and used as Yusuke's model, Makoto tapped his shoulder ever so gently to get his attention in a composed way, "Us girls were about to engage in a game of never have I ever, care to join us?" He had nothing else to do and couldn't think of a way to get out of it so agreed with a swift nod of the head. This was a fatal error. He'd heard myths, rumours of girl's party games but had never believed they could get so intrusive or intense so quickly. They all sat attentively at the major booth in the middle of LeBlanc, perking up with perfect focused postures in complete tense silence that could be cut with a knife. There was a soft rendition of a jazz track on the radio in the background as Ann explained the rules clearly and concisely, “We take turns saying a statement about something you haven’t done, like... um, never have I ever... crushed on a teacher! And if you have, you’ve got to take a sip of coffee... shame we don’t have any sake or else we’d get blitzed!”

“-And it’s illegal, we’re underage.” 

“I was joking! Yeah, joking... coffee’s better than sake anyday.” Ann backtracked, smiling and fiddling with her twintails, “Who’s gonna start?”

”Me me! I’ve got a goodun! nweheheh... never have I ever played sports!” 

The table erupted in a communal low groan as Futaba grinned dorkily to herself. Makoto, Ann, and Haru all drank up, Akira following on.

Haru composed herself, “That was quite a... bitch move, Futaba-chan! Now, how about... never have I ever dated anyone. By choice.” It had always stunned Akira how such a sweet, distinguished and calm spoken young woman could flip at the press of a button to a whole new, ‘not shit taking’ attitude, which could make a man sweat buckets. Her fiancé didn't know what he was getting into if he ever thought he could control her.

However, Akira wasn’t nervous because of Haru’s hidden dark side, he was nervous due to the nature of the question: dating, relationships, emotional or physical intimacy between two people. Had he ever? Yes. Long before he had accepted his gayness, there’d been a girl back in his hometown, a Shoji master aiming for the big leagues. Her hair was luxuriously dark, like melted dark chocolate and smooth as silk. She always had her hair parted a little to one side and always wore a red roped ribbon in the shape of a four-leaf clover, said to bring about good luck and fortune. She was a kind-spirited girl, beautiful in all sorts of ways, but Akira was never attracted to her.

He thought it would come with time, but it never did.

It was embarrassing to admit exactly how many times he googled, 'Am I gay', 'Asexuality test' or 'Sexuality quiz'. The answers told him many things. 

1\. He was probably definitely gay.

2\. Not asexual, just wasn't interested in sex... with women. (refer to 1.)

3\. Buzzfeed had some really weird quizzes- e.g: Favourite pizza says when you're going to die!

It was new and scary like he'd discovered a whole new part of himself that he'd, excuse the pun, locked away in a closet for the first 16 years of his life. He stayed up and pulled all-nighters and researched, reading up on what he was feeling, visiting various forums over the next couple of months, posting his thoughts, getting advice. Eventually, he was comfortable to put a name to the feeling that had always been there lurking at the bottom of his heart. He was gay and proud, simple as that.

There was the small, minor issue, however, that he still had a girlfriend at the time. Which was actually a pretty big issue.

He didn't want to be a dick so as hard as it was, the night after she played her final qualifying shoji tournament and won, he sat her down and explained everything in amidst of many apologies, deep breaths and near-breakdowns. He even gave her permission to slap him across the face for keeping something so big from her... but that made her laugh instead. She patiently sat there through it all, arms laid out on her lap and listened right to the end, "Thank you for telling me, Akira. This must've been hard... I-I know you'll find someone a-amazing, and you've always got me, okay? Just give me a little bit of time. I just need to... I just." 

Akira understood, hearing that her boyfriend was gay probably wasn't the best news in the world. "Yeah," he'd said, "A-And... Same to you. Next boyfriend you get will be so much better than me... I bet he'll be smarter and funnier and fitter..." He tried to make her laugh. As she gathered her stuff up to leave, he added on, "I'm sorry, Hifumi."

When he snapped out of it, he was being stared at by the rest of the girls, Futaba flicking his forehead, "Earth to Akira! What happened, were you abducted by aliens or something?"

"Nah, I bet he's trying to hide some juicy gossip from us all!" Ann flashed him a smirk, hauling Futaba away from him and plonking her back in her seat. 

He looked down at his coffee and frowned, it had gone cold but he took a disgusting sip of it anyway and the squad erupted with intrusive questioning, getting the attention of all the Phantom Thieves who began to crowd around the table as well, tuning in just in time to hear Akira talk about his spicy love life. "It's not that exciting guys, just someone I knew back in my hometown, we had a little romance. "

Ryuji interjected, giving him the side-eye, "Anyone we might know?"

"I'm not spilling those beans, I've got to keep some secrets from you guys or they'd be no mystery." He excused himself from the booth with a smirk and a flourish, taking his cup and washing it up in the sink as the others looked on in disbelief. 

"Oh come onnnnn..."

"Nope, not telling."

"I bet I could find out."

"You'll never get that info out out me, Ann. Never in a million years."

Ann rolled her eyes, "W-Well that was just to ease you into the game. Now the real questions begin."

 _Real_ questions? Oh no. If Akira really didn't play his cards right he could be exposed. 

Then Makoto said something innocently devilish. "Never have I ever... liked another member of the Phantom Thieves romantically."

 _Ho boy._ To drink or to not drink, that was the question. Most of the others looked conflicted as well, excluding Yusuke and Futaba who simpled folded their arms with the confidence of someone who was telling the truth and Makoto who had proposed the question, vicariously admiring the tense chaos that would ensue. Akira made up his mind. If he ever wanted something to happen between him and Ryuji, he had to put himself out there a little more. Even if this was the tiniest, shittiest little step, it was a move in the right direction. 

So he took a sip of his cold coffee.

Ann did. 

Haru too. 

Then Ryuji. 

Morgana would've but he couldn't reach the cup.

However, there was a new revelation to focus on. Ryuji drank. He actually- shit. What if it wasn't him? Oh fuck thoughts like that. Akira promised himself then, that before the night was over, he'd make a move and face the repercussions whatever they were.

Just as it looked like Ann was about to ask him a question, the door slammed open and everybody screamed in unison, just seeing a figure of an old man in the doorway amongst the darkness. Luckily it wasn't an axe murderer, it was Sojiro... but he didn't look very happy with the teens. "You are making a lot of noise, I've been getting complaints. What on gods earth have you been doing tonight? I did say you could use this place for your little party but it's nearly midnight, I mean your folks must be getting worried and I don't want no calls. Futaba, it's too late for you, go to the house."

"Oh Sojiro-!' She complained, giving up when he gave her a stern fatherly stare, "Mwah wah, game over guys..." After a little sign-off wave, she scampered home, Sojiro following on after hear, giving a direct look to the rest of the group, heading off with a final groan. 

Makoto was instantly on top of things, organising away, "I don't remember it getting this late... does anyone need a ride? I'll call a car." Everyone was really thankful that Makoto was the organiser of the group and nodded frantically so they were actually able to get home. Yusuke managed to finally persuade Ann to let him stay at hers because his dorms closed at 11 and he was a real homeless artist for the night. Even Morgana snuck into Ann's bag, figuring that when they were at her house, it would be too late for him to be sent back- plus it would be a great change of pace from sleeping in that attic.

After some farewells, everyone was gone and LeBlanc was nearly silent, apart from Ryuji who was still loitering around in a booth with a dorky smile on his face, meaning he wanted something, he bit his lip then came out with it, “I didn't wanna say it in front of the others or nothin' but my mom’s uh... gotta shift on so she’s kinda left locked me out, ‘could I hang here for tonight? I’ll sleep wherever 'not asking for the bed or nothing! It's just she's gotta lot of work on recently and all...” 

Akira felt his body begin to get hot, starting at his ears and slowing sinking down lower and lower until he managed a fumbled out reply, “Yeah. N-No problem."

"Cheers man... you're for real saving my ass here!"

Just seeing that face, happy and excitable like a puppy, it made Akira melt. He never outwardly really emoted but his thoughts were always speeding off at 1000mph and when it came to Ryuji, that speed tripled, ideas about one day confessing bounced off all the walls in his brain; thoughts about kissing him or even just hugging him. He was finding himself squealing whenever he received texts or phone calls, his hands getting sweaty as when he spotted him distantly in the streets of Shibuya, the thrill of his heart rate shooting up when Ryuji invited him afterschool to go get ramen or to run laps around the courtyard.

”I'm goin' to head up.” With that, Ryuji left for upstairs, stairs creaking under his weight, leaving Akira alone to wash up. As he ran the dishes over with soapy water, he couldn't help but let his mind wander off again. He and Ryuji had been best friends since day one, both outcasts brought together due to events out of their control because sleazy adults felt entitled enough to take what wasn't theirs. He wasn't a violent person in real life, but when he heard Kamoshida bragging about how he'd broken Ryuji's leg just for the hell of it, if he hadn't been on thin ice already, he would've broken that bastard's nose. 

With a small pep-talk to get himself ready, he flicked off the lights, made sure the sign was turned around to 'closed' and headed on upstairs. 

What was waiting for him was Ryuji, idling around standing and staring at one of his shelves where he'd mounted countless photos and trinkets from everywhere he'd explored in Tokyo from the day he'd arrived. He lingered on the stairs, sneaking back down a couple of steps so he could look at Ryuji through the bannister looking at all of his items, seeing which ones took his fancy. He noted his eyeline, his eyes moving in synch with the blonde's tracking where he was looking. Then he picked up a photo frame. 

Akira knew it well, this photo, it was the first selfie the two of them had ever taken; it was rushed and the opposite of photogenic, but it summed them up in a nutshell, unorganised and chaotic but comfortable as they fitted together aesthetically, personalities meshing. Oh, how he loved that photo. He steadied his nerves, fighting against every nervous bone in his body, and when he was ready, he headed up the stairs, catching Ryuji as he scrambled to put the photo down, "Yo, you close up?”

“Sure did.”

“Neat. I owe ya, one buddy, for real... but could I get some pjs?" He asked heading over and perching at the end of Akira’s bed, manspreading all over the place, “Why does our uniform have to be so extra, eh? Fucking plaid, who’s idea was it to have this shitty design...”

He fished a spare shirt and joggers out of his drawers and threw them over, hitting Ryuji square in the face with an thud, making him fall back onto the sheets and scramble to get the bundle off his face, seeming to get more caught and tangled up by the second. Eventually neon hair was spotted again as he sprung up, giving a thumbs up in his direction. 

It was a strange sight seeing Ryuji in his clothes, seeing a plain grey colour on him that didn’t harness an offensive or brash logo was a rare sight indeed. He liked it. He liked being the only one to ever see Ryuji like this. 

"I've got Cake Knight Rises on DVD. My player's a little old but the picture's good, wanna give it a watch?" _I know it's your favourite._ He asked ever so casually, dangling the disk between two fingers.

Ryuji's jaw dropped so far it could've hit the floor. "You didn't! I been wantin' to see this for ages..."

Of course Akira knew this. He'd been around all different stores in Shibuya, Kichijoji and Akihabara in search for it and in the end had to make a most likely illegal back-alley deal with a strange man in exchange for a rare idol figure that he had to enlist Futaba to scour the entire internet for. Together they pulled 2 all-nighters but had eventually hunted it down and made the trade. "Oh no _whaaaat_ , this is such a surprise! It's not like you've been going on about it since the day it came out or anything."

"Oh shudapp. Seems proper sus. I bet you want somethin’." Ryuji teased, giving his fluffy-haired friend a cocky all-knowing smirk.

"We can just not watch this y'know? You piss me off and I'll give it to Yusuke." He shot back snarkily, pretending to put the disk back into its case. Ryuji narrowed his eyes, "You wouldn't."

Akira nodded and shrugged, "You want to know the worst part?"

"What?" 

Ryuji was hooked. Films made him weak. Although he told everyone else he was a casual fan of the films where shit blows up and there's guns and fast cars, Akira knew he got weak at the knees for them and got so invested that he learnt them off by heart which was soulcrushingly adorable to picture, Ryuji sitting there mimicking in time with the actors like a fanboy. 

"The worst part is that he doesn't even like these sort of films. He'd probably throw it out."

To Ryuji, this was heresy. “Don’t even joke ‘bout that.”

Sensing that the blonde wasn’t kidding, Akira caved and resisted from continuing on the teasing, popping the disk into the TV and hearing the player whirl round and round until the screen illuminated with super colourful production company logos, sitting down on the sofa right beside it. Ryuji jumped on it so hard that the whole thing could've snapped in half, throwing himself with such power that sent it rocking backwards with a jerk that made them both yelp out before it steadied itself. 

"S-Shit! Sorry dude, fucking hell that shit got my heart goin’!” 

“M-Mine too.“ His heart was going, but for a different reason than he knew Ryuji’s was. When the sofa had rocked backwards, the blonde had unknowingly and instinctively grabbed his hand. There were many articles about how fear can expose true feelings as in that moment, emotions are raw and the survival instinct kicks in. Any moment with him was like a rollercoaster ride, and the adrenaline couldn’t stop pumping. Ryuji was his drug, but he couldn’t indulge.

Now they were two bros, very close together and holding hands. Akira seriously could've had a heart attack.


	2. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are on the line and it's now or never. Akira needs to take the leap or Ryuji will slip away just out of reach.

Unsurprisingly the film was Ryuji’s shit.

The way he watched it, perching forwards, eyes wide, face oddly serious during the tense parts as the characters danced around each other giving dramatic monologues about baking cakes for the wrong reasons, or about how it was forgivable, given the circumstances. Akira didn't really know the plot of it or like it for that matter, but he didn't care. He was holding Ryuji's hand, feeling every soft or hard squeeze he made in response to the movie. The film was good enough, it had some good moments that caught his attention occasionally but he was entertained by seeing Ryuji's face light up every time something happened, big or small. The quirk of his lips or when his eyes flared at the dramatic reveals or when he gave little gasps or downright shouted at the screen, he memorised it all. 

He'd never really thought about seriously confessing until right now. How he was going to do it. There were so many risk factors. The answer, he had convinced himself before, would be a resounding no so he had decided to save himself the grief of being rejected and then having to try and hold up a non-awkward friendship with Ryuji. 

But all of that went out the window as he saw Ryuji glance over at him ever so softly, taking his attention off the film. God, he had to do it tonight, get it out of his system. "We can turn it off, if you're not gettin' it. These things aren't your type'a thing so..." 

"No, no, I am paying attention, just got distracted. Keep it going, there's this guy fighting with this other guy over baking, right?"

The blonde reached out for the remote and hit the pause button, stopping it just as the main guy was about to get slapped in the face with a victoria sponge, "Dude we can turn it off if you wanna talk. Fuck knows how many times you've helped me out! Come onnnnnn..."

“Ah. No need, just put the movie back on.” Akira insisted but the blonde was having absolutely none of it and shook his head, staring at him right in the eyes, hardly blinking to the point where Akira was actually impressed. “How long’ve we been best friends for? You can tell me anythin’, no judgement.”

Oh how he wished he could believe that. “Ryuji-“

”Akira.” 

Now they were going back and forth saying eachother’s names with sterner and progressively serious-sounding tones and everything was getting a little too much. Akira loved Ryuji’s passion, the way he fought to his breaking point to protect people, the way he was always looking out for his friends and the little guy... but it felt like he was trying to probe into Akira’s deepest darkest secret that he was by no means ready to share. He was thoroughly scared to the bone but... but he trusted him.

At its core, he trusted him entirely. _No judgement._ He just had to trust that. 

“Ryuji... I... do you... are you...” He fought to get out, battling against every bone in his body that was telling him not to do this, changing his words about 8 times as he was saying them. He sounded illiterate but Ryuji smiled at him and squeezed his hand reassuringly, letting out a pathetic, blushing laugh.

All that bullshit from before, trying to convince himself that being _just friends_ was enough finally died. He wanted to be his boyfriend, he couldn't do friends whilst feeling his passionately that he wanted to kiss him and love him, offer his heart on a silver platter and put everything on the line. Love was pathetic but all-encompassing and he was head over heels. When the blonde shuffled closer, Akira let a sentence escape his mouth before he even processed it. “You making a move on me?”

“Oh shudapp! Just ask your question already!” Ryuji was blushing. Even in the shitty light from the very early morning, the pinkish tint was visible... and cute. 

Here goes. 

"Ryuji... I... I'm-" He had no idea where he was going with this but the words kept on fumbling out at the speed of a tidal wave, "Gay."

Shit. _Wrong confession._

Ryuji opened his mouth, then closed it, exchanging looks between Akira, their interlocking hands and the floor as if weighing things up in his mind, judging, putting the puzzle pieces together. Eventually, since someone had to say something, he filled that role. "'Dude you know you'll always have me, did you ever think that I wouldn't be ok with that? Shit man, y'know I love ya no matter what. And if anyone gives you any shit, I'll kick their ass!" He stalled, mouth flickering as to say something else but being restrained by another part of his body and he ended up just saying nothing.

Now Akira had a problem, there was no way to smoothly segway this heavy, momentous occasion of him coming out to his best friend into a love confession, it would seem to rash, like he was unloading information onto Ryuji for the sake of tricking into accepting out of obligation. "We should start that movie back up, or else it'll be perpetually stalled on the climax." He tried to hurry things on, reaching over Ryuji's torso to grab the remote from the other side suddenly, only for his arm to be grabbed mid-action, falling a little forward so the two of them were abruptly very close, almost nose to nose. 

Then, with a tone Akira had never heard Ryuji use before, wobbly, smoky, sensuous, he averted his eyes, sending them down to the floor and near to whispered, " _Dude, shut up._. _. I-I_ don’t care ‘bout the film."

Without overthinking, he put a finger under Ryuji's chin to lift his head up then kissed him, pulling away after his brain caught up with his heart and launched him into panic mode. "Shit... I didn’t mean to just go for it like that! You just looked so damn... _kissable_.”

”Dude! Don’t say stuff like that or I’ll do something fucking idiotic.” 

“Sorry but your lips look-“

But he wasn't given enough time to teasingly apologise as Ryuji took the glasses from his face and tossed them to the ground, going in to start up a newer, fiercer kiss, tilting his head a little to the side so there could be a little more creative freedom than the last time. Akira unsurprisingly melted to the touch, kissing back equally as hard, getting progressively more passionate as he took hold of the back of Ryuji's neck, pushing them even closer together. 

They moved in a natural rhythm with the vanilla makeout session, which was progressively swelling with tension and need. Akira, using the gymnastic skills he’d learnt to assist with the palace infiltrations, manoeuvred over, swinging then wrapping his legs around Ryuji’s waist, straddling him all without breaking the kiss. 

Ryuji pulled away after feeling Akira's extra weight on his thighs, bright pink and panting, catching his breath back. “Too far?” Akira smirked, voice smooth as silver. Ryuji shook his head, looking a mixture of very-sure-of-himself and completely dazed, looking awkward as he noticed his hands were frozen in mid-air in a really awkward position, struggling to decide where to put them. Where would be too forward? Where would be just right?

Bluntly, Akira prompted him, "You can put your hands on my ass, Ryuji."

"D-DUDE. I-I... fucking jeez... I..."

Akira stifled a chuckle, collapsing in to laugh into the blonde's shoulder, listening to him struggle and stutter to find words. Was this love? This feeling, ever so specific in nature yet indescribable, impossible to put into words. It was heavy like a bowling ball but also light and euphoric. Two souls finding peace together, a little clumsily yet completely, with a rush of undeniable bliss. It was more than happiness, 10, 100, 1000 times more. It was an all-encompassing force, like sober drunkenness, completely out of control but grounded by that other person, who was also spinning and out of control but being calmed by you diametrically.

"...Hey. I wasn't joking, you can totally put your hand, both your hands on my-"

"-Oh my fucking god Akira... man should we like, talk 'bout this?" Ryuji shut him up acting sensibly for once but blushing frantically, which only made Akira's cocky smirk widen. He replied sarcastically, of course, "What, right now? While I'm basically riding you?"

Ryuji exploded with embarrassment, "Y-You don't have to word it like that!"

Simply, Akira gestured as their position with a distinct look that simply said, ' _But I'm not wrong.'_ Ryuji couldn't disagree there, but it was a weird thought, being ridden by his best friend, one he never thought he'd be thinking about. "Does this make us... is this gonna be a thing? Like a for real, proper thing or you just fooling around? Because dude... I don't know what you're thinkin'."

 _Okay,_ Akira thought, _we're having this_ _conversation now._ It was a idea brilliant to act like rational adults and to express their feelings to one another in a calm and open way but he just wanted to keep kissing him. After being Ryuji-kiss-starved for months and finally getting it, he wanted to make the most of it because inevitably doing something to mess it up. But Ryuji wanted this conversation- so he sucked it up and made the right choice.

He cleared his throat and looked at Ryuji, his confidence beginning to slip away as he slowly divulged his insecurities slowly, one at a time, to him, averting his eyes every so often as to finish his sentences. "I... Ryuji, I don't want to just hook up with you. This, you and me... you know what you said before about me making you feel free?" Ryuji nodded, letting his continue, "It's like that. I don't think people can be _completely_ complete, but you make me feel as close to completeness as I ever could be. **You** make me feel right. Like wearing a mask doesn't matter. I could just be talking nonsense to you but I hope you're getting this or else I look really insane right now."

Ryuji was nearly crying, he was in that near-crying state of trying to keep his eyes open and fan away the tear with the palm of his head, not looking at Akira otherwise he would break down in tears. Nothing had prepared him for that sort of confession. It was honest and perfectly Akira's style, ambushing him with the sweetest confession so that his heart couldn't take it and he'd resort to crying. It was devilish. "D-Ditto..."

"Say, totally random question here but do you want to by my boyfriend? Lock me down before someone else does, I've got a lot of interest you see..." In typical snarky Akira manner, he asked in a smooth way, moving a hand through his hair to seem extra attractive and to possibly increase his charm.

The blonde raised an eyebrow, "Shit, didn't know I'd be dating a celebrity." 

Akira 'mhm'ed, trying to keep as much as a straight face as he could. For a trickster, sometimes he had the worst poker face. "Yeah, it's a blessing and a curse. So?"

"Yeah. L-Let's fuckin' do it! I'll be your boyfriend."

Finally breaking the act, Akira leapt forward into his arms and hugged him, giving him the softest, tenderest kiss on the lips, looking into those same enchanting hazelnut eyes, only a little differently this time. As a boyfriend. Lovingly. Now it was happening, he realised that falling in love with his best friend was the best thing that he'd ever done. All the heartache, the guessing, the praying had been worth it.

Worth it for this, what felt like the good ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u guys liked this fic. to me ryuji was super relatable for a number of reasons and im just gonna come out and say it, he's the cinnamon roll we all need in our lives.

**Author's Note:**

> at the 3rd semester of persona royal and i can't get enough of these two!! wrote this in like 3 days like my life depended on it.


End file.
